The other day, I was walking home with my son from school.
And I suppose somewhere in my brain I was pondering how some people seem to have awesome lives and some people just don’t. Then it occurred to me, that less than desirable things happen to everyone. We’ve all got stories. But some of us have this ability to focus on the good things, to remember the beautiful things that have happened.
It seems as though two children could go through the same day, both could have a conflict of some kind, and both could have a fun event at some other point in their day. Yet, one child highlights the conflict while the other highlights the great thing that happened. And then that’s what they remember from that day. One takes away the good and one takes away the bad.
I think we adults are the same way. We have the ability to focus on the beautiful. We have the ability to focus on the things we wish didn’t happen. But a lot of the time, we have the tendency of focusing on the latter.
So, my husband does the dishes one morning, but he also leaves his coffee mug out on the table. What do I focus on? The darn coffee mug. Instead of my child highlighting the fact that I took him out for fro-yo, he highlights the fact that we didn’t get to have a family movie night. And then, suddenly, we’re unhappy, we’re resentful, we’re critical, we’re depressed, we’re anxious, and insert whatever you want here.
Why do we have that tendency? Why don’t we highlight the good?
I think part of it is our brain chemistry, how our brains developed as we grew up, events that happened to us during different parts of our development, events that shaped us, etc. But the point, really, is that despite our upbringing, our socialization, our development, our experiences, we all experience good and we all experience bad.
I think I’d rather be one of the people who focuses my eyes on the good in my life, because I won’t lie, I naturally focus on the negative. I hate to admit it, but there it is. And sometimes, life is hard. So hard. And it’s easy to forget about all the beautiful things and people.
What’s great though, is that I (and you!) can retrain my mind to think in new ways. Sure, it’ll take work. But we can do it. We just have to commit to it and be intentional with it.
So, tonight, as we all get in bed, let’s try and remember all the beautiful, sweet, wonderful moments we had today. Let’s highlight the beautiful things and people we experience. Let’s appreciate them. Because gratefulness breeds joy, and we all could use more joy in our lives. The truth is that it is there–joy is there, but sometimes we abandon it.
Even if your life is extremely difficult right now, I challenge you to name three beautiful people or things in your life today.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you will overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. ~Romans 15:13
The Counseling Student 