Here are a couple things that I’m doing to improve my marriage this week:

Last week, I wrote a post about one thing my husband and I were doing that was improving my marriage. This Friday, like the last, I want to write about a couple things I know I need to do to improve my marriage. Now, I get the feeling that I’m not alone in these things.

So, as my husband and I have been wading through the murky waters of communication, a few things that I’ve needed to work on have occurred to me.

1. My husband communicates love in a way that I do not get.

I just don’t get it. My husband isn’t much of a talker. For those of you who know him, you probably know that I speak the truth. And although he’s become more of a conversationalist over the past 8 years or so, talking is not always instinctual to him.

So, the other day, I was trying to explain something to him that bugged me. (I know, guys love it when their wives tell them that something about the relationship is bugging them!) And he says, “Well, I let you sleep in this morning. And I kept Savannah out of your hair. Because you’re always saying how you can’t get things done because you never have time to yourself.”

At this point, I literally asked him what that had to do with my issue. I stared at him cluelessly. He stared back with wide-eyed confusion, borderline shock. He couldn’t even find the words.

Luckily, over the course of the next few minutes, it became clear: my husband was trying to communicate his love to me through his actions.

Oh. Duh.

See, I’m a talker, a strange extroverted introvert. I’m big on words.  And sometimes, if actions are not accompanied by words when said actions are being committed, I just won’t get it.

Therefore (that’s one of my academic-paper-words), I need to start reading between the lines and listening to what his actions are telling me.

2. I kinda need to stop getting offended so easily.

So, I don’t know if anyone else out in the blogosphere ever does this, but I certainly do get offended about weird stuff.

I think something I’ve realized about myself though, is that when I get offended by little things, there is a deeper issue at work. Now, that issue may be mine alone, or it may be an unresolved issue between my spouse and myself, BUT there is a deeper issue nonetheless.

And this “being easily offended” can happen in any relationship, not just a marriage. It can happen among friends or family members or co-workers. So don’t think that if you aren’t married, you’re safe. Nope. Not safe. (I know. I’m so mean!)

So next time you find yourself offended, ask yourself if you are being too easily offended. Ask yourself: Is this really that big of a deal? Am I going to start a war over something petty? Am I taking this the wrong way? Or am I twisting someone’s words into something they were never intended to be?

The truth is that we have all been here at one time or another with someone we love.

And that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? We love these people. I love my husband. So, why am I being offended easily? Why am I not intentionally trying to understand him better?

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Bible talks about how we are to love each other. It talks about how love isn’t easily angered (offended), how it is kind, honoring, forgiving, unselfish, and perseverant. (You can check out the passage on love here.)

Sometimes in the day-to-day bustle, we grow complacent and unintentional in our relationships. We forget to love the way 1 Corinthians 13 indicates that we should.

This week, I need to work on a couple things mentioned in that passage. Maybe you do too.

So, how about you? Do you think you’re intentionally loving the people around you?  Please leave a comment below!

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